And when I stopped moving, when I finally sat down and all the noise faded away, he was always there. Busy partying, busy going up and down this tiny glittering city, busy with my career. During those two years, I was busy busy busy. MORE: 6 Ways to Get Over Even the Worst Breakup He was still the perfect Adonis to which every male I encountered would be compared … and of course, fail to measure up to. He was still casting a shadow over every new relationship. He was still there in the recesses of my mind. I had graduated college … I had moved to New York City … I had a job … I had a whole new life … and yet, I was still aching for the past. Two years later I woke up and realized I was in the exact same spot. I stayed as busy as possible so time would race right along, grabbing my hurt, pain, and feelings of betrayal with it on its way out the door. I bought into the whole time heals idea after the breakup I talked about earlier. It’s an active process and you need to be an active participant. You can’t just passively sit back and then wake up one day feeling at peace with what happened, totally absolved of residual feelings and the inevitable after-shocks that come with a devastating breakup. They say time heals all wounds but I find this to only be partially true. Focus on getting you to love you again instead of regaining his love. Follow the no contact rule (read more about it here). Maybe he is your soul mate … maybe in the future, he’ll realize it and you’ll have a crazy story to tell your kids and grandkids, a love story for the ages! But, and again listen closely: Not. MORE: 5 Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You And like I said, it absolutely can happen, I mean, I married an ex-boyfriend! But! I married him 11 years after we broke up … and after a helluva lot of self-development. I get messages every day from women who are desperate to get their ex back. This is definitely possible but listen closely: Now isn’t the right time. When you still love your ex, your preoccupation will be in getting him back. It would be like living without a vital organ. You can’t fathom not having that person in your life anymore, it’s just inconceivable. The hardest part of the post-breakup period is all the uncertainty and mixed emotions. What to Do When You Still Love Your Ex 1. Here are a few things you should realize and a few things you should do in order to move on if you still love your ex. I’m doing what I’ve been doing for the last 10 years, teaching you valuable lessons based on my many mistakes! MORE: Everything You Need to Know to Get Your Ex BackĪnd the waiting was torture, so I broke and called him and got my closure … and we ended up creating this website together, but that’s a long story for a different time! I stubbornly held onto the notion that closure would arrive at my door wrapped up in a pretty bow. I can’t accept that sometimes, we need to create our own closure. I can’t move forward until I know everything about everything. I’m the personality type that tends to get stuck. Two years of pining and hoping, maybe even praying. I was stuck in love with an ex for over two years. You desperately seek a magic bullet or solution to create a reality that you believe needs to exist!
You want to be free but you are boxed in by the pain and uncertainty. You ache for something that is no longer yours and may never be yours.